man stopped by cops on M6 after being clocked at 120 mph... cop says, "Give me one good reason for that speed". Man says, " Two months ago, my wife ran off with a traffic cop. when i saw you behind, i thought you were bringing the F*@#er back.

Little boy asks his dad where does "Poo" come from? Dad explains food passes through the esophagus to the stomach where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentry canal to extract protein before waste product descends via the colon and rectum to emerge as "POO". Blimey says the little boy, so where the hell does Tigger come from?

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.

When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.


The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'

Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.

The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.

His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went
straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow..



Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?'

The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried
upside down......'

William Shakespeare walks into a bar
the barman says "you're bard"
i'm sorry! X