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    Nick Engelen

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    Post by Nick Engelen on Mon Jul 13, 2009 5:01 pm

    Hi Tony,

    During the breaks on last weeks master practitioner course you spoke a lot about philiosophy. Can you tell more about the connection between philosophy and your sicilian background?

    Kind Regards,

    Nick
    Mick Tully
    Mick Tully
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    Post by Mick Tully on Mon Jul 13, 2009 8:31 pm

    Absolutely gutted I could not make the master practictioner course guys,damn this whole running your own business palaver.....take care
    Mick x
    Tony Terranova
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    Post by Tony Terranova on Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:49 am

    Hi Nick,

    I could fill a book about philosophies that I have embraced, adapted, and evolved as a result of being on this spinning planet for 52 years and all the traveling I have done and the many mistakes I have made along my journey. I guess you are referring to some of the chat’s we had during the master NLP sessions. Here is a very short recap on the philosophies I shared with you during the week.

    Firstly I said do not beat yourself up too much when things go wrong, that is life mate and shit happens – and when shit and fan meet we simply need to embrace an attitude of possibility thinking as there is always a solution. In my world of engineering the solution to a problem is an aspect of the problem. Positive thinking is better for you than negative thinking but I think possibility thinking provides more practical routes out of problems. Positive thinking without the appropriate action is about as useful as an ash tray on a Harley Davidson. My early years were spent in Sicily so I have a strong family connection when it comes to being mentored – basically in a Sicilian family you go and talk to your Godfather about problems and not some shrink who in some instances may have more problems than some of his patients. Speaking to your elders who have wisdom is a wise way to get good advice; it was something the Native American Indians did well. We are losing this in today’s make, take and throw away society in which so many operate as if life is a race.

    Whenever I spoke with my Godfather during times of turmoil and adversity in my life, he simply said: it’s OK to f**k up at everything once as it makes you experienced and a more interesting person. He said, it’s ok to f**k up your first marriage your second one will be better; it’s OK to f**k up your first business your next one will much better; it’s OK to get fired at work once as the next time you will see it coming and be smarter; it’s OK to f**k up as long as you do make too much of a habit of it. This always gave me a feeling of being centered whenever I was having a tough time. He also reminded me that for the most part every man or women you meet is doing battle with something, as we all have our own battles to fight (they just differ from person to person). I have f**ked up many times in my life, in fact there have been times in my younger days when I was the mayor of the f**k up zone, I owned the f**k up zone for a while until I learned my lessons and became a little wiser.

    These days I live my life with my feet on the floor and my head in the clouds. Yes I am an optimist and yes it is true that the human potential is limitless, but it is also true that it takes time to achieve things and each achievement has with it a price to pay which is called opportunity cost. Basically you have an opportunity but it will also cost you to take that opportunity and we all should weigh up the cost of taking opportunity to ourselves and our families and friends. This is something that I feel some self help books fail to explain – and in any case the race is long so what is the rush why not enjoy the moment. But we must also not be too cautious as there is risk in safety and safety in risk.

    In today’s modern day hypnotic society we are often in a trance like state as a result of being under a lot of financial stress and the constant bombardment from the bullshit media. An example is the crappy soaps that are on TV, they can adversely affect your way of thinking. I never watch them and have stated there should be a dedicated channel for this rubbish called the ACOS (a collection of shite!) channel. We get brain washed into think that our success is measured by our financial wealth - and then you hear multi millionaires saying “money is not everything”. These are confusing signals with no basis or clarity. Basically money is good we need a certain amount to live, but we do not need millions to be happy, we need a balanced and healthy life. If you think money is important take a walk down the local graveyard and let me know how many rich people you can find that are pushing daises (I have looked many a time and I still can’t find any).

    Many people are looking for real inner peace which will bring lasting happiness (and that’s OK as that is what living is about ‘inner peace’). The Dalai Lama’s ‘good karma’ advice is a great benchmark to achieve this, here are the 18 rules he stated for long lasting happiness:

    1. Realize that great love and great achievement involve great risk.
    2. When you lose don’t lose the lesson
    3. Follow the 3R’s; Respect for self, Respect for others, Responsibility for your actions
    4. Remember that not getting what you want is often a stroke of luck
    5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly
    6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship
    7. When you realize you have made a mistake, move to correct it immediately
    8. Spend some time alone every day
    9. Open your arms to change but don’t let go of your values
    10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
    11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time round.
    12. A loving atmosphere at home is the foundation of your life
    13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with current situation and don’t bring up the past.
    14. Share your knowledge it is a way to achieve immortality
    15. Be gentle with the earth
    16. Once a year go somewhere you have never been before
    17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other
    18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it

    I know you are having some hard times with work at the moment Nick as we are in a difficult global situation. All I can tell you is that tough times don’t last but tough people do (there is actually a book written with this title) - And getting back to my Godfathers advice when you re read my notes it you will see that the truth of the matter is that we only need to look in the mirror to see the son of a b**ch that is responsible for all our miseries (yes we are to blame for most things that go wrong in our lives).

    Hope this is what you wanted as it was a long week at the course and I can’t remember all our conversations.

    "It's not where you start - it's where you finish that counts." Zig Ziglar

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    Tony. T
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    Nick Engelen

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    Post by Nick Engelen on Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:58 pm

    Hi Tony,

    Thank you. I like your replies and your sense of humour.

    I wonder, how is a sicilain family build up? I mean who is the Godfather is he the leader of the family and does every family have one? I never saw the movie.

    Kind Regards,

    Nick Engelen
    Abnett
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    Post by Abnett on Thu Jul 16, 2009 3:39 pm

    I'm in a difficult situation at the moment due to an recent accident and reading through that reply has helped me realise it's better to have faith and let the system take it's course (go along for the ride effectively) as the truth will out and clear the mess up. Good reading that Tony! Thanks!
    Tony Terranova
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    Post by Tony Terranova on Fri Jul 17, 2009 12:51 am

    Abnett,
    Thanks for your kind words - you have the right attitude mate - just tough it out and it will pass -

    Nick,
    Sicilian families stick together and try to work through problems - you simply look to your elders for advice such as your uncles and grandparents - your godfather is chosen for you by the time you are seven years old and he remains a mentor to you for the rest of your life - bit like a second dad - the family system works in the same way the traditional ninja's family hierarchy worked – I recommend you read the spiritual practices of the ninja warriors by Ross Haven and you will see a healthy hierarchy working – also see all the godfather series (3 in total) - in Sicily families spent a lot of time together talking and working together in their businesses which leaves little to ponder your navel and worry about things that for the most part never really happen – it is healthy to interact with others on a regular basis as you saw first hand at the master NLP course last week – modern society seems to breed loneliness and with it come along many ailments which would not otherwise exist in a fully sociable interactive society that is always spending time with one another – (this is my humble view and I respect others may have different views on this subject)..

    Good luck my friend….
    Tony. T
    Mick Tully
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    Post by Mick Tully on Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:24 am

    Great stuff guys
    Mick x
    Tony Terranova
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    Post by Tony Terranova on Sat Jul 18, 2009 12:57 am

    Thanks Mick I am always appreciative of your support mate - Tony.T

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