Respect - how can it benefit self defence?

For me and the students in my club, respect is a holistic topic that covers attitude towards oneself and others. It is not just a case of running through rituals or enforcing etiquette it runs much deeper.

Here is my latest article on the topic:

http://www.clubbchimera.com/?p=434

excellent article Jamie,

totally agree, really enjoyed it

Yes jamie great article. I have always told my students how can you gain respect without self respect....

Keep up the great work.

Thanks for the kind feedback, guys, I really appreciate it. When I sat down to decide on the tenets I was going to base my soft skills around it was a hard choice, but in the end respect (including attitude) has to go before everything else including awareness. How can you be aware if you don't have the self respect to act on that awareness or the attitude to have your head up in the first place.

The next piece will be on the second tenet, which is awareness. However, I am going look beyond all the obvious awareness stuff - the Cooper code, the OODA Loop etc. and also discuss self awareness. It seems to me - and this links in with the self respect/attitude thing - that too many in the martial arts community don't have a lot of self awareness.

Hi Jamie,

lovely article as always,

to quote:
No matter how physically large you are if it is apparent that you are fearful – that you appear shy, unsociable or are easily offended or dominated – you become a “soft” target for the human predator.

That sums up my life, at 35 I am as insecures I was a child taking a beating from my step father. I have read self help books, listened to audio's, went through numerous counsellors and still I am filled with insecurities.

Your article helps put a new slant on things for me,

Cheers,

Den.

The easiest thing to say, but the hardest to accept, is that it is all based on making decisions. You decide whether or not you are going to be insecure - and we all decide to be insecure sometimes. However, by swallowing that bitter pill you start seeing how much control you actually have over events and, most importantly, how they affect you. Viktor Frankl's "Man Search for Meaning" is an excellent book that deals with this topic. It also sets a very high bar for anyone to make an excuse about feeling powerless.

The trouble with a lot of self defence training, however, is it actually feeds this insecurity and turns it into a type of paranoia. Many martial arts classes seem to replace one sort of insecurity for another. This is why I believe on training on individualism, creating activities that prompt the student to take charge from start to finish. When I recently did a work shop for professional civilians who will be going into potentially dangerous situations, I spent the whole first day work hard to nail down some core soft skills and I kept re-emphasizing the importance of having the right attitude.

Another way to look at it - and I thank Dennis Jones for this one - is to consider that at 35 years of age you have done a pretty good job at self defence already. You're ahead of me for a start, I'm only 32! Whatever methods you have used to survive they've worked

Cheers Jamie,

read that book but tbh was a bit sceptical of some areas covered. Will continue the journey though

Cheers,

Den

Good article Jamie.

Den,

Well from one sceptic to another: I think logotherapy is the best of the three schools of psychoanalysis from what I have read and in my amateur opinion. I think of it more as a philosophy than anything else. It's not behavioural science for example, which is a soft science in itself.

Steve,

Thanks, mate. I appreciate it.

Jamie,

im inclined to agree it is more philosophy and he has proven himself in the field, I think when I read that book it was just one more book in a glut of rubbish I had read.

However i am a fan of philosophy, loving Dennett currently and thinking back it was certainly better than most.

I think the rubbish I read over the years made me a little cynical towards that culture, which was a mistake.

Cheers,

Den

In his autobiography, "Recollections", Frankl actually draws the association with philosophy. At the time I remember disregarding this - I considered psychology and therefore psychoanalysis as a science - but now I am inclined to at least look at logotherapy as the philosophy of pro-activity.

Now the word "proactive" has also been called into question. It is in the humourous sceptical book "The Dictionary of Bullshit" as a sort of non-word. However, I think it has value when applied correctly, especially in self defence when we spend a lot of time distancing ourselves from "reactive" training. Nike's old slogan does for me too: "Just do it".

I think that's because sometimes the most proactive thing you can do is nothing!

The term I like best is 'peacekeeper' we do whatever is necessary to keep the peace.

Yes, peacekeeper is a good term.

I associate being proactive with taking charge of a situation be it how you decide to feel, think or act about something. So, as you say, you can "do nothing" although in reality you are doing a lot, you are not being baited and you are not playing by someone else's rules. From a physical prospective it describes the strategy of constantly being on the proverbial - and sometimes literal - front foot.