Self talk

Hello everyone.

As you enter a conflict I assume you some self talk/ internal dialogue going on.

For me I generally have something along the lines of 'You are fucked mate, you already fucked'. On the outside I do my best to have a calm persona but inside the guy I am dealing with is fucked.

Its a bit of a split second mantra for me.

Whats yours?

Cheers mate.

Andy

I'm thinking - sheeite, I'm about to pooh my pants, I hope nobody can see...

I just panick for 30 seconds

I'm usually saying

"What the fcuk did I do wrong to end up here!"

The only inner dialogue I have is the decision of whether I need to hit or not - apart from that - I honestly can't recall actually saying anything to myself like that

I think you can develop the "You're f&*ked" kind of intent to a point where you don't actually have to say anything to yourself to trigger it

I'm no expert though!

This is a common part of 'RBSD' training that I don't get. The people that deal with violence on a daily basis don't think this way, the police can't think this way and in the modern security world with cctv everywhere and a prosecution pending if you are regarded as too violent, you must look to stop and prevent rather than damage, you're just doing a job and it's better to remain calm and just get on with it. When working front line (many years ago) I just 'did' the job, looking to use as less violence as possible but always looking after my own safety.

A book by Marc Macyoung called 'Ending Violence Quickly' explained many different aspects which included 'Triggers' and 'Mindsets' of people who deal with violence daily (bouncers/police/debt collectors etc) and stated that there are two triggers to activate violence or a physical responce within people who have to deal with violence which are 'Personal' and 'Professional'.The personal one is when you wrongly let your ego control you instead of the circumstances of the situation,the professional trigger is you do the minimal amount you have to do to end the conflict as quick as possible.

Marc